Updated: May 4, 2020
Many of us feel we don’t fit in or belong anywhere because maybe we feel stuck between communities, what we grew up with vs what we want to part of.
Maslows Hierarchy of Needs is a pyramid with 5 levels of basic needs, humans need to feel fulfilled. The lower part of the pyramid, a human requires psychological needs (shelter, air, food, sleep), on top of it is the safety needs (security, employment, health), and then sense of belonging (love, community, friendship, family, connection), and then Esteem (respect, recognition, freedom, strength), and finally on top Self actualisation (desire to become the most one can be).
Now the middle part of the pyramid: community and sense of belonging.
Many of us feel we don’t fit in or belong anywhere because maybe we feel stuck between communities, what we grew up with vs what we want to part of. We cannot progress to the top level of Self Actualisation because we are still stuck in finding a sense of belonging. .
When we grow up in a certain community, it shapes our identity, our outlook, our beliefs, and the more we grow and experience a world outside of our community, we may be exposed to other outlooks or mannerisms that may be different that what we’re accustomed to. We realise our normal may not actually be what is considered “normal”.
And it’s ok to unlearn the things you have grown accustomed to and open yourself to new and different experiences. To allow yourself to sit with others and learn from them, rather than judging their differences. To step out of your comfort zone. It can be scary at times because what we are becoming or learning may be against our community’s expectations and norms.
It takes immense courage to let go of certain things that have been a part of our childhood and allow ourselves to change and grow, because ending certain cycles will take a painful period of grief and mourning.
But let me tell you a secret, once you overcome the grief, a falcon will rise from the ashes.
Self actualisation and your best self will come when you take the brave step to create your own community, build yourself and grow again🌹